inbox for Somnia

[justification]

[text / audio / video]

Comments

[opheliac]

I lost a bet, and now I have to do your laundry. Happy now?

[justification]

Who would make a bet like that?

[NO, she's NOT HAPPY :< :< :<.]

I had no part in this.

[opheliac]

Yeah, well, I thought I was sure of myself, so I made it up.

[ there's a pause. ]

But I'm glad I was wrong, so. ...Anyway, laundry.

[justification]

I don't want you to do my laundry.

[Why would she want that?]

I don't even want you to know where I live. Why would I want you touching my clothes?

[opheliac]

Oh, don't be such a prude, Kirahamms. I've seen your delicates and I've been through your wardrobe back home. Twice.

You don't have anything that will surprise me.

[justification]

I'm not being a prude, I'm remembering your propensity for hiding explosives wherever you think would be fun.

[opheliac]

Ha, ha, yeaaaaaaah. Doing that really is a blast for me. But lucky for you, I've been swamped with everyone's orders and projects, so I haven't had time to make my own babies.

So, fine, no laundry. What if I give you some spaghettiOs? Maybe Pilites have a better tolerance for them than I do.

[justification]

Why did you involve me in the first place?

[opheliac]

Ugh, I already told you. It was a bet I came up with because I thought a certain little situation would never happen. It's like a "Haha! If that ever happened, I'll gladly shove a handful of dirt in my mouth for a whole week" or whatever.

[justification]

Alright.

So go and do that.

[opheliac]

I can't do that after the fact! That's not how that works. See, this is why we will never get along. You're such a pain in the ass.

[justification]

[She doesn't want to ask. She doesn't care. The less she speaks to Jinx, the better.

But...]

What was the bet even for, anyway?

[opheliac]

Irrelevant.

[justification]

[Well, she's not going to force it.]

Fine.

You're not coming near me if I have anything to say about it.

[opheliac]

Is that a dare or a double dare? Nothing in the treaty says that I can't stand near you.

[justification]

If you actually care about your precious treaty, you wouldn't.

But if you're just trying to bait me to breaking it so you can put the blame on me... be my guest. I'm not going to meekly play along because of our agreement if you intentionally antagonize me.

[opheliac]

Wow. You really think I'm that into you, huh? I've already told you in the dream, but I guess I forgot how dim-witted Pilties are. So let's try again:

I'm not trying to bait you; I'm not trying to antagonize you. Actually, you mean so, so little to me. Because I dunno if you've noticed, Kirahamms, but this city is gun loaded with creatures that are being controlled by some whack-job Goddess who is behaving like a big baby because some of us don't have a cult kink. You're a pebble compared to this shithole we have to go through every day.

The only people or things I want to shove bullets down their throats with my bare hands until they choke and die are her and that little pet of hers. Not. You.

Eventually, Caitlyn, we will run into each other, even by accident. This city isn't the size of Runeterra, ya know.

[justification]

Okay, Jinx.

If you don't think about me at all, then why involve me in your stupid game? Why contact me? I've been leaving you perfectly alone.

It seems like you think about me a lot more often than you want to admit.

[opheliac]

I don't think about you, Caitlyn. I was just so sure no one could ever fall in love with a person like me that I put me doing your laundry on it.

Turns out I was wrong, and Zaunties keep their word. So here I am. It was a spur of a moment thought with a conversation I was having.

[justification]

[Well, there's a lot she could say to that. All of it feels too mean-spirited, even when Jinx is acting like a petulant child toward her in the first place. Cait may want to put a bullet in her skull, but she's not cruel. Just - angry.

But there's never been a way for her to truly express that. Certainly not here. Not in Manhattan and not in this conversation.]

If you show up on my doorstep to do my chores, I'm taking it as an act of hostility and reacting accordingly.

Go be with whoever it is you've found and continue not thinking about me.

[That's about as kind as she can be, take it or leave it.]

[opheliac]

Ooo~oo, watch out, Long Legs. I'm going to come and fold your undies the wrong way.

Jokes aside though, whether you like it or not, if I see you around town and you get yourself into a jam, I'll come bail you out. It's a Jinx promise.